Friday, April 10, 2009

QUICK!!! What's the number for 911!!!


Yeah...some Friday evening we had here at the old dog house!!! IT was BATH NIGHT!!! Oh my gawd! This is abuse and humiliation of the worst kind, I tell you if I had pose able thumbs, I would be calling my local representative RIGHT NOW to have this sort of thing outlawed! *DEEP BREATH**** Ok, for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, we have a Bath Day, or a Bath night depending on the weather. This means that once a month (sometimes more depending on how dirty some of these little grunge muffins get) We all have our ears cleaned, our teeth brushed, our nails trimmed, and of course, our baths and flea stuff put on. It all sounds good and well, I myself prefer not to sit in the dirt or get dirty at all, and of course DO NOT participate in such activities as throw Roo in the dirt, and flip over Lu or the Blue in the flower bed, but the other "Ratties" around here do. (I told you I was the only civilized one in the place) Roo, Cooper, Lulu, CeCe and Bella are the mindless little lemmings, they will go right in, get their stuff done, get their baths, and just be happy, Blue, well, she has a small ounce of brains, she at least makes some sort of consorted effort to evade mom. I on the other hand find it rather humiliating! Mom did get this pedicure thing that files my nails, which is helpful, those nail clippers are just barbaric! And what FOOL came up with turkey flavored doggie toothpaste? We have these electric toothbrushes, and although they give me that rock star smile, frothy turkey toothpaste would be an atrocity to be seen if anyone ever snapped a picture. Lulu has threatened on occasion to snap one with the cell phone, and of course post it at the local dog park or pet smart, but she knows better than to mess with the doodle, its the quiet ones you have to look out for. Anyways, mom give us our 'beauty treatments' and we survive....it doesn't hurt, except for my ego a bit. We have our special shampoos, I keep trying to explain to her that I need something for body, because if she uses that normal deodorizing stuff, it just makes me friz around my muzzle. I asked for some cologne also, I suggested a Drakar Noir...nice sleek black bottle, kind of like me...classy but pungent, but instead the girls got very berry, and I shouldn't even admit this, but she got the boys Coconut SPLASH!!! Do I LOOK like I would want to smell like a fruit drink!!??? Martini maybe, beach beverage, I think not!! Roo likes it, Cece and Bells say it makes us smell good. Cooper likes it too, but jesus, you could take one of those cardboard pine air freshener things and tie it to his nub and he would think it was great...Oh, why couldn't they have decided to breed Min Pins instead of these barbarians!!!

No comments: